Archive for November, 2007


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Last week I received a message from Gearoid Pierse who is cycling from Istanbul to Listowel next May/ June .  As well as being a great adventure it is also in aid of Goal , a charity which does fantastic work throughout the developing world . He is looking for like minded cyclists who may be interested in joining him for all or just some of the journey . He has a good website containing all of the details which may be seen at http://www.pierse.org/index.htm

Like most cyclists , I have taken part in a good number of charity cycles .  Most have been one day spins around somewhere in Ireland but back in 1993 I did the ‘Florida 500 ‘ with the National Council for the Blind .

I got involved through a friend who is blind called Stefan Grace . He is a real entertainer and life and soul of the party so the training regime differed quite a bit from what I was used to . In the beginning I had put together a training program for us both on the tandem which would see us being comfortable doing 60 and 70 mile stages during the event .  However this program quickly went out of the window . Most training spins would begin with the aim of doing 40 to 50 miles . However usually by the time we got to Newcastle , 5 miles from Stefan’s house we would have to stop for a fag break . Then sitting outside of McCarras shop both drinking lucozade and eating mars bars whilst Stefan also had a fag we would chat away to whoever was passing by . Stefan is well known in the area and everyone always has a few words for him so these ‘quick’ breaks would often last for anything up to two hours . At this stage we would just head back towards Stefan’s house again with sometimes three and a half hours training time only covering eleven miles .

Whilst this was the complete opposite to any sort of training that I would have been doing beforehand , it did introduce me to a much more sociable side of cycling , or maybe just rural life in general .

Other training spins involved calling in to any visually impaired people living in the area . Stefan knew them all and they were all delighted to have him call in to visit . Any frustration at the lack of ‘serious training’ which I may have felt from time to time was quickly dispelled by how upbeat and happy go lucky these people were .

Cycling with Stefan also made me appreciate my own life a lot more . I remember one day as we were heading out from Ardfinnan towards Clogheen it was a really crisp bright spring morning . The knockmeldown mountains were on our left and were particularly clear . I could make out the cars as they headed up ‘The Vee’ and I asked Stefan if he could see anything at all . He said that he could just about make out that it was brighter on top and darker underneath . This was his only view of the mountain range behind his home which tourists flock from overseas to see . From that day on I have always made a conscious effort to take in my surroundings  , especially when I’m out on the bike as we all have a habit of taking it all for granted .

Riding a tandem is a lot different to riding on your own and it takes quite a bit of practice to get the hang of it . At first I was green and used to just lash into the corners without letting Stefan know . This would be followed by Stefan leaning the opposite way , a few expletives and one or two visits to the shrubs and greenery of the ditches around Ardfinnan . But we did manage to get the hang of it and within a pretty short time he began to trust me more and more and eventually I would only have to call the odd particularly bad bend .

The one bogey which we always had was Knocklofty hill . We would go three miles out of our way in order to avoid going down it until one morning Stefan announced that he was feeling a bit adventurous and sure we might as well give it a lash . I had fitted a new computer to the bike and he wanted to see how fast we could go . We headed off , in the Clonmel road and were both unusually quiet as we approached the crest of the hill after just five miles . I asked him how he wanted to do this and the reply given was ‘ flat out and don’t spare the horses ‘ so that is exactly what we did .

We sprinted down the first part and managed to hit 40.5 mph on the speedo then it was heavy on the anchors and as we approached the ninety degree bend at the bottom of the hill. I was screaming at Stefan to lean right , which luckily he did . I had been down the hill hundreds of times on my own and knew exactly what line to take but with an extra thirteen stone behind you this all goes out of the window . Luckily there was no oncoming traffic so I cut the corner and just barely managed to keep us out of the ditch although we did go so close as to brush of some of the grass sticking out slightly . Stefan was behind me roaring with delight and when I told him that we did 40.5 mph he was even happier . He is a real thrill seeker and I must admit that there is no way that I would have the balls to ride down a steep hill at over 40 mph and not be able to see where I was going .

Stefan only lost his sight in his mid twenties and so he was able to experience many things which other VIP’S (visually impaired people) could not . He once told me that the thing he missed most was driving his Ford Capri . When his sight began to deteriorate he bought a speedboat so that he would be able to get the sensation of speed . He sings in a band and plays guitar and even writes some of his own compositions .That is in between raising a large family and a few geese , ducks and hens .

To go on the trip to Florida I had to raise 2500 pounds which was done by selling a large number of tickets and asking everywhere for some sponsorship . This part was much harder than the cycling part but I got there in the end .

The trip entailed cycling 500 miles around Florida in ten days so the average mileage was fine , although there was the odd day when fifty became seventy . The cycling arm of the NCBI is known as The Blazing Saddles and Stefan composed their anthem called ‘If you follow the blazing saddles’ . Just as big Eamon Duffey was getting us all on the road leaving the official start in Orlando Stefan pulls out the mouth organ and gets everyone to join in on the chorus of  ‘ if you follow the blazing saddles’ . The outrider cops on their big police Harleys didn’t know what to make of us all but they did seem to get a good kick out of it .

The trip was fantastic and really well organised although there will always be the odd hiccup along the way . One day ourselves and two other tandems containing Joe Bollard and Gerry Lennon got lost on the way to St. Agustine . We did eventually find our way back on course , thanks to the help of a friendly couple in their purple camaro outside a seven eleven and eventually made our way to the hotel . We were greeted with a chorus of jibes about the blind leading the blind etc. but it was all a good craic .

Usually the tandems do not finish with the lead group and tend to be closer to the rear rather than the front of the pack . However the day into Daytona Stefan decided that he wanted to be up there on the day . Whether it was the thought of the beachside hotel or the trip to the racetrack he was motivated and there was no stopping him . We took shorter than normal food stops and kept the head down all day , even in the soaring temperatures and managed to sprint over the final bridge in order to stay with the leading group of riders on the day. We were both exhausted when we got to the hotel but I really had to admire Stefan’s will and determination , especially considering the training regime, or lack of it, leading up to the trip .

The following day he was really satisfied with the previous days efforts and as we rode up a tough hill I found myself under quite a bit of pressure . From behind me I heard the question ‘ Are we going up or down a hill ?’ and as I glanced over my shoulder I could see both of Stefans feet off of the pedals and a cigarette in his mouth . We were back to normal now !

The trip ended in Fort Lauderdale and I can remember sitting on the beach next to Stefan and Joe Duffy from RTE thinking that you wouldn’t be doing this on The Ras . Like any trip away there was a real sense of anti-climax when it was all over and we were headed home . The two weeks were so action packed , cycling on fantastic roads in beautiful weather by day and the craic each night resembling a Christmas party every night interspersed with some really good day trips left you with the feeling that there was more done in those two weeks than would be done for the rest of the year .

The bottom line though , was that although it was for a charity and it raised a lot of funds and brought those with the disability away on a fantastic adventure I couldn’t help feeling that I had gotten even more out of it myself. It really is the ultimate win-win situation . From the ‘training’ beforehand through to the trip itself it is really the VIP’s who make it special , and not the barristers or business people , because we are all the same on the bike , but the visually impaired people who are so upbeat and full of life .

Fourteen years later I feel that my own life has been all the better for doing this particular cycle for charity .

Barry

www.worldwidecycles.com


Last night , in a simple hotel in the town of Carrick on Suir a small town make up party planner staged a coup which left all of the swish marketing agencies like Saatchi and Saatchi in her wake . For over thirty minutes she gave a good account of all of the different beautifying products which she had available for the ladies . Then , when the time came to introduce her products for the men she announced that she had a guest speaker who would introduce this range .

Those present were expecting a slightly effeminate male with a preference for ’The soaps’ over ‘The Sopranos’ who would introduce the range of male cosmetics .

However , in a complete contrast to what was expected , up strode none other than former world number one cyclist and universally acknowledged ‘hard man’ Sean Kelly , a man who’s iconic image is more often displayed with a contorted face covered in the mud and dirt of the roads between Paris and Roubaix .
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Kelly gave a seven minute oration on the benefits of using the cleansers and moisturisers on display ,some of which he actually uses himself . He also made reference to the fact that many of today’s top professionals also use these products which help counteract the damaging effects of up to seven hours per day being exposed to the harshest of weather conditions .

Yes , this truly was a stroke of genius , giving the male range an instantly more masculine appeal . Surely there is a huge lesson to be learnt by the marketing agencies here in that a genuine ‘hard man’ gives much more acceptability to these products over a pretty boy soccer player who wears a skirt !

Barry

www.worldwidecycles.com


A group of ten Irish cyclists have entered a new type of off season competition called ‘I’m a cyclist – get me out of here ! They will be marooned in a deserted house in Merchtem in the Belgian outback . Each day they will be given some very difficult tasks to complete and the last one standing at the end will be crowned ‘cyclist of the year’ !

The contestants are an eclectic band of celebrity Irish stars both past and present . First to enter is former Ras winner and current Thai bar manager ‘ Sprattzy ‘ . He is followed in by multiple Ras stage winner ‘Fritty’ . Next comes current pro Philly Diggins who is joined by fellow northerner Danny Macken . They are quickly followed by the fearsome foursome of Benny Kennedy , Ronny Power , Frankie Morgan and Timmy Cremmins . Last but not least come the elder statesmen Stevie og Kelly and Seanie ban Roche .

Their hosts Frank and Dec show them around the house and introduce them to Julian Daley and Kirk Boothard who will be setting their challenges each day .

The competition  begins with the initial ‘Belgian tucker challenge’ .  Julian , who had been out for a spin early that morning came across some delicious roadkill which he has laid out on plates before the contestants .

Sprattzy takes one look and says ‘ steady trapper , that don’t look too appetizing to me . Then he says the fate-full words : ‘I’m a cyclist get me outta here, Bubba’ .

Fritty just ploughs on and eats everything on the plate without blinking an eye .

Philly Diggins had been out in a night club the night before and is feeling a little under the weather and just can’t face it . He too says : ‘I’m a cyclist , get me out of here’

Danny Macken is looking for a different knife and fork as he broke his just as the challenge was about to begin . He finds replacements and manages to complete the task in record time .

Benny Kennedy takes one look at what is on the plate and without mincing his words lets everyone know just what he thinks of the so called food which is laid out before them . This is followed by the fate-full phrase : ‘I’m a cyclist get me out of here’

Ronny Power agrees with his training partner Benny and is glad to push the plate away especially as he is still feeling the after effects of the shenanigans in the lift at the airport the previous day . He too is a cyclist who wants out of here .

Frankie Morgan stumbled as he approached the table and knocked everything onto the floor, and a dog which had come in through the door which Frankie had left open rushes in and eats it all . A second plate is brought out and Frankie manages to get through it just inside the time limit .

Timmy Cremmins is still full from a stint of carbo loading in his local chip shop and pushes the plate away but asks if he can stay on in an advisory capacity for the other contestants . A request which is granted after he admits that ’I'm a cyclist get me out of here .

 Stevie og Kelly looks over the plate and analyses the contents . He purses his lips and exhales deeply before consuming the entire plate in his quest for victory .

Whilst Seanie ban Roche asks if he can have some Galtee cheese grated over the plate before he too consumes it’s contents .

So after round one , hosts Frank and Dec announce that there are now only five contestants remaining .

Time for the next challenge , ‘The endurance round ‘ . For this event Julian and Kirk explain that the contestants will have to ride their bikes on turbo trainers for as long as possible whilst drinking two water bottles full of Enervit each hour . There will be no toilet breaks so this will be an added difficulty as they will have to give up in order to answer the call of nature .

For the first two hours all is well , although the room is getting pretty warm as the condensation glazes the windows . Fritty has elbowed both competitors beside him and even managed to make Frankie Morgan drop his bottle into his rear wheel . This was quite an accomplishment as it had to fall from his hand , bounce off his left shoe , then the adjusting lever on the trainer before ripping seven spokes out of the wheel . Frankie then jumped off and ran to the toilet .

One down , four to go .

Seanie ban Roche began suffering form heat exhaustion after the four hour mark and collapsed onto the ground after dismounting the bike . Luckily an oxygen mask was nearby with a roll of tin foil to cover him up and he was soon back to normal , although disappointed to be eliminated from the competition .

This left just three .

Danny Mackin began to analyse the odds and calculated that Stevie og Kelly would probably keep going for a week and decided that enough was enough .

The final two were now selected so Julian and Kirk stepped in to end this round and bring the finalists on to their final and most difficult challenge .

Frank and Dec were all excited as they introduced the final challenge . This would be the ultimate Belgian tucker challenge . Two plates were produced and the silver covers were lifted up to reveal two pairs of Jonty Keevans socks which had been found in the back of the National team van after the Verona World’s four years previously . They were garnished with two have eaten powerbars which had been rolled flat by the team cars in the 2006 Kuurne-Brussels-Kuurne . To sweeten the taste two maxim gels covered in salty sweat were drizzled over the meals . In the background Tom Jones blared from a set of ipod speakers , singing about the green , green grass of home .

Both Fritty and Stevie og Kelly were taken aback with the ferocity of the task which lay ahead . Stevie og was first to get stuck in , but was quickly  joined by Fritty . They both gagged but were also both consumed with the quest for victory . They were matching each other , fork for fork . Whilst Stevie og was the crowds favourite , Fritty was not going down without a fight . That was until he began to listen to the words sung by the welsh crooner . The more he thought about it the more homesick he got and suddenly he stood up and said ‘ I’m a cyclist get me out of here ‘.

Stevie og Kelly threw both arms aloft and savoured the victory , he was now cyclist of the year!

Barry

http://www.worldwidecycles.com


I have had a number of people asking ‘ what happened next ? ‘ after a recent post about a cycling version of Sylvester Stallone’s most famous character so here is what I think might have been the next instalment ;

Both cyclists are lying on massage tables in the Na Piarsaigh GAA club hall in Blackpool on the outskirts of Cork city . They both have the sunken eyeball , emaciated face look of athletes with nothing more left to give . The normally chirpy Appolo Fox lays exhausted but exhilarated as he contemplates another year as National Champion . The blond ponytail massaging the latest Sports-balm recovery oil into his weary legs is working all of the lactic acid out and soon he will be fit to drive home in the BMW m5 estate .

 In another part of the hall a sixteen stone pot bellied veteran of fourteen Ras’s during the fifties and sixties is working even more deep heat into Rocky Powers’ aching legs . The shy bespectacled Mary Ann stands to one side packing the sweaty gear into a Dunnes Stores bag . They will soon be packed up into the chaos of the back of a fifteen year old Izuzu Trooper . Then a bumpy two hours should see them back in Carrick in time for Fair city , Mary Ann’s favourite .

This had been one of the hardest  fought National Title championships in years , between the toughest cyclists in the country and Apollo felt compelled to acknowledge Rocky’s effort before leaving the hall . The fact that Rocky had come from nowhere at the start of the season to be so strong on the day earned him respect in Apollo’s eyes .

Mary Ann saw him first and stood back . Apollo gave her a bright smile before addressing the challenger . ‘ Hey Rocky , I have to admit , that was the toughest race I’ve had in years . You ever think of joining a big club like ours? ‘

‘Aaawww thanks Apollo , but I’m happy with Carrick and I’ve got Micky Ryan training me . You know he ‘s pretty good .’

‘No problem Rock , but if you ever want to come to Athlone for a training camp just give me a shout and I’ll sort it out . You can even stay in my place ‘

‘Aaawww thanks Apollo and sure if you ever want to come to Carrick , you can stay in The Carraig’ .

They both said their goodbyes but a new friendship had been formed out of the mutual respect they had for each others ability to endure pain . A real cyclists gauge of character .

Throughout that winter Rocky , Mary Ann and their dog Butt-kiss did go to Athlone for training camps and Apollo came to Carrick with his two blondes, masseur and mechanic . Micky Ryan didn’t think much of all of the razzmatazz around Apollo but he did admire his determination on the bike . Although he was concerned that he might lead Rocky astray , showing him  SRM power-metres and such like .

Rocky , however was unimpressed with the new modern technology and was happy to do the circuit training in the Forrester’s hall every Tuesday and Thursday night along with Ballymac each Saturday and Sunday . There was one piece of modern technology which Micky did allow Rocky to use . It was a special hanky which had a few drops of olbas oil on it . This would help to clear the lungs on a cold winters day and allow Rocky to push harder .

The new year came and rumours were rife as to who was going well on the winter training spins throughout thew country . A guy called ‘Clubber Colcannon’ was supposed to be burying everyone on the spins in Kerry whilst a Polish immigrant riding with Bray Wheelers called ‘Ivan Dragonlynch’ was supposed to be training like a machine .

The Kerry winter training spins were always notoriously hard with the Connor and Healy passes included every weekend . Normally the group of ten to twelve would stay together and share the pace-making , but not this year with Clubber rearing to go . Every time the group now came to any sort of a climb , Clubber would attack and taunt his training partners with statements like – ‘ Come on , come on , is that all you’ve got , I’m Clubber and I’m gonna drop all you guys ‘ which did sound unusual in his thick Kerry accent .  Then he would proceed to drop them all and when he eased up over the top of a climb he would half-wheel them down the other side .

In Bray Ivan Dragonlynch was working shift in the Dell computer factory . This meant that his training was done at unusual hours . To overcome this difficulty he set up a complete cycling gym in his rented house just off the upper dargle road . With a super-computer which he had assembled himself at work connected up to a Tacx i-magic home trainer his training regime was super efficient . His girlfriend Bridget , was very interested in his progress as she thought that if he were to become successful that citizenship would surely follow . She would help him chart his progress each evening and was ruthless in admonishing him if she felt that he was not pushing himself hard enough . Each Sunday The Bray Wheelers would take in the climb of Glenmalure on their spin and each Sunday Ivan would power away , sitting in the saddle with absolutely no upper body movement .

Meanwhile back in Carrick , Micky had come up with the perfect solution to Rocky’s lack of speed .He could plough along in the eleven all day long but a sudden acceleration always saw him one to two bike lengths off the back . A friend of Mickey’s , Leslie Grant had a moped which , even though he only had a provisional licence he could drive on the Pilltown by-pass . Twice a week they would head up and down the bypass with Micky on the back of the moped yelling at Rocky every two minutes to try to sprint past at over thirty five mph .

In late January it snowed in Carrick for two solid weeks but Micky still made Rocky go out and do his efforts behind the Bulmers Lorry’s up and down the by-pass . What the lorry drivers thought of a lunatic on a bike trying to sprint past them in the snow  God only knows but Rocky felt himself getting stronger so he persisted .

The new race year began with the Lacey cup in Tralee . Rocky lined up next to Apollo in the scratch group and they wished each other luck . All of the front groups were reeled in before Castlemaine when shortly afterwards Rocky attacked and opened up a ten second lead which he held to the finish . Season opener , round one to Rocky . However standing at the finish was Clubber Colcannon who had missed the start . He was hurling abuse at Rocky saying that he would not have won it if Clubber was in the race and that no one could beat Mr. C . Rocky just shrugged it off  and ignored him although Apollo was watching the encounter with a little concern . He later told Rocky that he would want to keep an eye on that guy .

The next race of note was Paddy’s Day in Carrick where Rocky really wanted to make an impression on the local crowd . Mary Ann’s mother would also be there so this gave him even more motivation . The flag dropped at the summit of Sir John’s hill and the race was underway and Clubber Colcannon was first to attack . He was reeled in and attacked again . After five consecutive attacks a group of seven got across to him and this was the break . By the end of lap one they had a three minute lead on the chasing bunch .  The next lap was just a consolidation of the lead until Clubber attacked again as they headed out on their final lap . Rocky managed to get across to him and for ten miles they worked well together to open a one minute lead . Ten to go and Clubber tells Rocky that he can’t climb for shit . Rocky ignores him . A mile later and Clubber tells him that if he keeps his haircut the same that it will eventually come back into fashion .  Next he says that Rocky should work Sundays in the meat factory as he’s wasting his time racing . Then he attacks . Rocky is slightly distracted which is just what Clubber wants and finds it hard to close the gap but eventually he manages it . Now Clubber asks which is Buttkiss and which is Mary Ann . Rocky now has two choices , either he jumps of his bike taking Clubber with him and escorts him into the middle of next week or he puts everything he has into one massive attack . He thinks of Mary Ann and her mother standing on the cold finish line and makes his decision .

Three clicks and he is in the eleven . A surge of adrenaline fuelled by temper propels him as if he was in the small ring and a twenty bike length gap has opened before Clubber has a chance to change gear . Rocky has a minute advantage as he reaches the finishing line and once again his victory salute has the now familiar soundtrack of a shout  to Mary Ann . Mary Ann and her mother are well impressed . It will be a special Shepherds pie for Rocky’s tea tonight.

The season continues and Rocky has to miss a month due to tendinitis in his left knee . The Shay Elliott race is on in Bray and Apollo and Ivan are the favourites . The final run in to the finish after a very tough race is true to form and the two favourites are together with an unassailable lead of two an a half minutes .  Rocky is in the car behind and is concerned for his friend Apollo who looks under pressure . Instead of just attacking Ivan Dragonlynch switches Apollo into the ditch where he breaks a collarbone . Rocky is furious and at the finish he tells the Polish rider that he will see him at the National Champs and he will sort him out there .

The day of the National Championships finally arrives and Rocky has trained like never before to be fit for the day . Ivan Dragonlynch has also been training harder than ever getting a VO2 test every fortnight in Trinity . Rocky’s VO2 test was a fourteen minute ascent of Tickincor in the rain .

Once again the two favourites reach the final section together . A rolly circuit around Navan  . The Pole attacks and attacks and tells Rocky the he will loose but Rocky keeps fighting back . The Bray team car pulls up alongside and he tells Bridget that Rocky cannot be human , the way he keeps coming back . Rocky senses weakness and goes for it . One attack in  thirteen , the next in a twelve . By the time he gets it into the eleven the pole is gone and Rocky solo’s to the greatest national title victory of all time . A huge crowd gather around to congratulate the Champion and he calls out for Mary Ann. She runs across from the KFC drive through and gives him a kiss in front of everyone , her shyness diminished .

The following day Rocky gets a call from someone in Tipp FM asking if he would like to do a few advertisements . He See’s a chance to make some money and agrees . The first add is for a new anti-perspirant by Pinewood healthcare . But Rocky keeps saying that it makes him smeeel mainly and an infuriated producer suggests that he go back to the meat factory , which he does .

Barry

http://www.worldwidecycles.com


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Last Sunday in a prelude to Ray’s stag night we decided to check out the new mountain biking centre in Ballyhoura . We have been hearing about it for the past twelve months now , so we were all curious to see just what it is like .

It was first due to open back in april  but the official opening date seems to keeep being pushed forward all of the time . As can be seen on the official website www.ballyhouramtb.com it is now delayed until further notice , but most of the 16km trail is complete now so there is enough to give a flavour of what the completed project will be like . On another site www.ballyhouracountry.com it says that the opening has been delayed due to poor weather , which is something that I always find amusing in Ireland . It is like an arab saying that he cannot use his camel in the desert due to too much sunshine .

Over a million euros of The J.P.McManus fund has been spent on the development and the finished project will include 3 singletrack loops of 16 km , 27 km and 48 km . There will also be a cafe with bike washing and shower facilities which will all add to the experience .

We got there by turning right in Mitchelstown and the right again 10 km later in Kildorrery . Then about twelve km further on just before the village of Ardpatrick we turned left towards The green wood and 1 km later we turned right into a small car park in the wood .
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It took us a few minutes in the wood to find the singletrack trails , but once there it was all guns blazing . The hardpacked singletrack weaving and winding between the trees really got the blood pumping and then the twisting wooden bridges managed to test the nerves . We regrouped at each fireroad crossing which was usually every 10 mins or so . Then we met another group of riders on the trail who informed us that the best section of all was behind a no entry sign . This caused about three seconds of hesitation before we proceeded .
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This really was the best section of all , 20 minutes of swooping decents and hardpacked singletrack climbs with the highlight being 500 metres of a twisting  rollercoaster  wooden bridge within tightly packed trees . Mountain biking at its best .

The only crash of note was when Fitzy was pushing really hard following Johnny M and caught his bar end on a branch . He went from 40 kmph to zero in a split second and was airbourne without his bike . A quick landing on his helmet and a roll with a bounce and he was back up looking for his bike again . Only he could get away with it although the bike wasn’t quiet so fortunate . The forks were now at a 30 degree angle to the rest of the bike which made it quiet hard to ride .
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After two hours we were back at the car park , all suitably mucky and ready for the night to follow . The overall verdict was that it is really good at present but when  finished it will be  excellent . When that will be I guess only the camels can tell .

Barry

www.worldwidecycles.com